Sounds like I need the vw racing kit then, thanks lads.
bonelorry has a build thread over at the mk6 section of the site so you can see how they look. I am considering this kit too; although i am really torn between that and blistien b8s with H&R springs.
OEM+ Dub's reference to the VWR spring + B8 damper combo feeling like a MK4 R32 is quite a good comparison. The R32 rides firmly without being harsh on decent surfaces, but over potholes and badly broken surfaces, it was too crashy for me (heavy 18s don't help) and partly why I sold the car. The OEM MK5 suspension is the same on the same surfaces though, but the benefit of OEM is more travel, so won't bottom out in the stops quite so easily.
The crashiness was at urban speeds. In common with other after market kits, things improve the faster you go though. The car feels way less 'jiggly', unsettled and fidgety on Bilsteins compared to OEM. It just feels properly keyed into the tarmac and super stable in the bends.
One thing I would say about the Bilsteins is their consistency of damping. The car feels the same in winter as it does summer. Some people may not notice the change in damping vs heat build up in the damper oil, but I did, and the B6/B8/B12 are simply superb dampers for consistency.
I would say the VWR full kit, or VWR springs + B8s would be more forgiving than B8s + HRs. The full VWR kit is probably not in the same league as the B8s under hard cornering and busy surfaces to damp, but is probably the best riding kit out there. And that's why I'm going VWR because 90% of my car's duties is commuting. I don't get many opportunities to hoon it, so ride is important.