I was in the same dilemma recently. When I bought my ED30 from Cardiff VW back in 2012 I asked for the wheels to be refurbished and they were refurbed (face only) in a colour a bit darker than the original silver. I liked the colour but it wasn't a proper job as the barrels of the wheels were rough. Recently the fronts of the wheels started corroding.
Due to not using the car so much in lock-down and finding a good local refurbishment company (The Wheel Specialist) I had mine refurbished in BMW Ferric grey. I didn't want bright silver, or standard, or anthracite (too dark on steel grey car IMHO), but this was perfect for what I wanted to match to what I was used to. Very similar to VW's Titan grey I believe...