Well, the Audi garage were most helpful...Not, claiming they had a box of wires and would take ages to go through it, brought a few out, one looked very similar just a bit smaller connector, after thinking I said "can I have that other one back I'll buy it" to which I got a reply "I don't know where it is now, its back in the box..."
Nice.
VW Were more helpful, going through ETKA on screen with me but told me they were all quantities of 5, so i'd have to buy 5 just to see!
Off to a specialist VW garage in a min to check there!