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Author Topic: Dogs & Cats  (Read 1191 times)

Offline vRS Carl

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Dogs & Cats
« on: September 07, 2011, 07:10:12 pm »
Excerpt from a dog's diary.......

8:00 am - Dog food! My favourite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favourite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favourite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favourite thing!
12:00 pm - Lunch! My favourite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favourite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favourite thing!
5:00 pm - Milk Bones! My favourite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favourite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favourite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favourite thing!

Excerpt from a cat's diary...

Day 983 of my captivity....

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am. barstewardss.

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.' I must learn what this means and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.

The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now.

Offline JoeDarKa

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Re: Dogs & Cats
« Reply #1 on: September 07, 2011, 07:17:57 pm »
 :signLOL:


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Offline Alexander

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Re: Dogs & Cats
« Reply #2 on: September 07, 2011, 07:38:10 pm »
Made me chuckle  :grin:
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Offline Tfsi_Mike

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Re: Dogs & Cats
« Reply #3 on: September 07, 2011, 07:47:55 pm »

Lol  :signLOL:

Offline v2brett

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Re: Dogs & Cats
« Reply #4 on: September 07, 2011, 08:49:30 pm »
 :signLOL: nice one
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Offline W8 Performance

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Re: Dogs & Cats
« Reply #5 on: September 07, 2011, 09:04:50 pm »
 :signLOL: