.
….Or alternatively titled:
The Hot Babe Salome - Review:
WHAT IS IT? (WHO IS SHE?) [
It helps the reader to describe what is being reviewed]
Well…. Where do I start? - This version of the female model is named Salome. Salome is an ancient Hebrew name meaning peace but she is an icon of dangerous, according to the Christian world, female seductiveness and particularly famous for her erotic dancing (you'll have to read all this review to be rewarded by the video of her dancing style). There is a story that has been going around for some time, apparently centuries, that any female called Salome will have your head off (Yes pleeeease, you are thinking!). From versions 19 to 39, her type is a Femme Fatale - You have been warned.
WHY HAVE ONE? [
Give reasons why you think the subject is worthy]
^ Need you ask? The word 'No-brainer' comes to mind.
But of course you may have a preference for men, or indeed for an entirely different model. Fortunately there are many, many different versions to choose from. The reason I've got Salome is that she was free (I think!) but they do say there's no such thing as a free lunch. And, she successfully promotes my music presence on the hyperinterwebbynet, but so does Kylie (and another singer named Lauren) - Very typically, none of these females acknowledge even the existence of the others - They see them as rivals, so the less I write about the others, the better! I don't want my head cut off!!
ALTERNATIVES: [
It's helpful for readers to know what other choices there are]
Available, or not as the case may be, as Blonde, Redhead, as well as Brunette like Salome, and every shade you can imagine inbetween. Also available, usually
very available, as Brazilian and Parisian. So, lots of exotica to excite you!
There are even versions with a VW logo on the breast, a larger VeeDub logo across the lower back, commonly called a Tramp Stamp, and this forum's web address on the inside left forearm. All finely tattooed.
SIZES: [
Give helpful information about the details]
So many: S, M, L, XL, XXL, XXXL, and even XXXXXL though the more extreme versions have many disadvantages. However, they are more commonly categorised as Size 10 (S), Size 12 (M), Size 14 (L). Weight of course varies according to the size and you may prefer the feedback, as I do, of the lighterweight more racey models.
RIDE QUALITY: [
Give your own impressions and experiences of the product]
The suspension is firm but not harsh and gives you plenty of very welcome feedback. Great fun, especially when bendy. Happy to be driven very hard-n-fast as well as slooow and very gently. Occasionally, but fortunately rarely, she gets moody and doesn't respond well, but this is a feature common to all versions.
SOURCE: [
Assume the reader would like to buy the product and inform where and how]
I met her while surfing…. on the hyperinterwebbynet.
"But she's not real !!" I hear any Feminist readers heckle, but fortunately there aren't any of those weirdos on this forum. She told me she was free (I'm obliged to declare anything received free according to forum guidelines) and that I could take her home. So that was a no-brainer and she has now moved in and permanently resides on my 27-inch desktop as drop-dead gorgeous eye-candy as well as being an attractive ambassador for RedRobin Music.
No! I'm not including Salome's contact details!
INSTALLATION: [
If it's appropriate give tips and info about installing or using the product]
Straightforward (unless you are Pixar-Disney's Mr Incredible): Place your head through the largest hole and push head through to smaller hole so it fits around your neck. Push your arms through the remaining smaller holes. Oooops!! I was writing about forum T-Shirts there! Ok, just wrap her legs around your neck and take it from there. Just use your imagination, you probably won't need any specialised tools. *cough* Moving onwards…….
MAINTENANCE: [
Tips and info about the practical aspects of ownership]
This varies hugely from version to version but generally they tend to be either high maintenance emotionally or high maintenance materially. The versions which are both are best avoided! I'm happy to say that Salome is extremely low maintenance - One of the advantages of being what others call 'virtual'.
^ The most desirable versions are those who will muck in (the dirtier the better) and adoringly help you with absolutely everything you do.
PLUS POINTS: [
The advantages of having]
Applying this to Salome and not all the females in the world. Oh, hang on, they aren't from this world, they're from planet Venus.
- Extremely high quality standard of manufacture - Beautifully built, made in heaven some say.
- Extremely high standard of eye-candy and excellent for the ego.
- Unusual and original design. Sultry = Sexy.
- Looks good whether in sloppy T-shirt and jeans, or dolled up for a night out. Salome looks good enough to eat even when wearing a black plastic bin liner! I'm not showing you those pics, so eff off!
- Easy to
install wear < Err, perhaps I should rephrase that.
- Loves music and likes to dance.
- She's got a hot sista named Sonia.
- Shows off your enthusiasm to the forum and all the other saddo's like me who live on the internet.
MINUS POINTS: [
The disadvantages of having]
In Salome's case, very few.
- She's got a hot sista named Sonia.
- Your missus may not like it if you get too carried away and lavish too much attention on anything to do with Salome, or indeed any other attractive female between 19 and 39. Fortunately, I don't have that problem.
- Salome is normally calm and sultry but….
^ You do
NOT want to make her angry with you! She'll cut your head off!
SUMMARY: [
Write a concise overview]
So far, after several thousand miles both in daylight and at night, indoors and outdoors, I can find no fault.... < Ooops! Wrong review again! It only takes a minute to have a crush on someone, an hour to like someone, and a weekend to love someone. The Salome's wandering planet Earth are not that common though, so keep smiling but take care!
As you have read this far, here is the vid I promised, Salome's sista Sonia dancing:
^ Yay! Yay! Yay! I'm hooked! The music is great too.
REVIEW CREDITS:
The biggest credit must go to VC for begging for me to write this review and those others who have asked me about her. I must apologise for there not being more photos of Salome but she insisted I kept those special photos private and I wouldn't want to make her angry for obvious reasons.
----------
@ Moderators:
Obviously please move this thread elsewhere if you feel it more appropriate -
