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Author Topic: Funny AMAZON reviews  (Read 2055 times)

Offline Oli

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Funny AMAZON reviews
« on: April 16, 2012, 11:20:22 pm »
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Offline monte

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Re: Funny AMAZON reviews
« Reply #1 on: April 17, 2012, 12:05:03 am »
 :grin: :grin: :grin: DO NOT PUT ON KN*B AND B*LL*CKS!!!
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Offline glenn_g60

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Re: Funny AMAZON reviews
« Reply #2 on: April 17, 2012, 12:06:44 am »
  :signLOL: OMG! Had to double check to see if that was real! Question is why were you looking it up? :smiley:
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Offline monte

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Re: Funny AMAZON reviews
« Reply #3 on: April 17, 2012, 12:11:40 am »
Quote;

"when i used this on my spuds it was epic.

now looks like the last chicken in sainsburys. look like a porn star mind but the missis love juggling them now.

need a bit more talc on them now when on the move."


 :laugh:
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Offline glenn_g60

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Re: Funny AMAZON reviews
« Reply #4 on: April 17, 2012, 12:18:03 am »
"Anyhow would I do it again, maybe in a few months. My skins pretty resilient, so it's not to sensitive, but I guess if you are a ginger or generally have light fair sensitive skin you may find out the hard way and wake up one morning with a extremely high voice and notice you have no more testicles and being officially classed as a eunuch."
Some people in this world are pure class!
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Offline Thor

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Re: Funny AMAZON reviews
« Reply #5 on: April 17, 2012, 08:56:34 am »
Some good honest reviews there..........  :laugh:
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Offline Bane

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Re: Funny AMAZON reviews
« Reply #6 on: April 17, 2012, 09:47:27 am »
"Alright I suppose.

Works well on my cat. And on my ferret. And on my baby's head. And my gran's arse."

 :grin: :grin: :laugh: :signLOL: :confused: :jumping: :grin: :grin: :laugh: :congrats: :congrats: :signLOL: :booty:
 
I found this mildly amusing...... :stupid:
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Offline benjii

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Re: Funny AMAZON reviews
« Reply #7 on: April 17, 2012, 09:40:11 pm »
 15 April 2012 By Dennis
Makes my farts sound louder. The hair must have acted as a interlocking silencer.. I give this the big thumbs up. 5/5

35 out of 36 found this helpful
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Offline MC71

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Re: Funny AMAZON reviews
« Reply #8 on: April 17, 2012, 11:14:28 pm »
 :signLOL: :signLOL: :signLOL: :congrats:

Do Amazon not check the reviews added to their site, god I hope not? Thats a classic in my book!!

Quote from: benjii on April 17, 2012, 09:40:11 pm
15 April 2012 By Dennis
Makes my farts sound louder. The hair must have acted as a interlocking silencer.. I give this the big thumbs up. 5/5

35 out of 36 found this helpful

What made me laugh is that is says "35 out of 36 found this helpful", WTF. Were these 35 people in need of louder sounding farts and if so why, I mean really WHY??
 :happy2:

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Offline Upperoilcan

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Re: Funny AMAZON reviews
« Reply #9 on: April 18, 2012, 10:08:42 am »
Wow,this is on every forum im a member of..... :signLOL:
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Offline RedRobin

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Re: Funny AMAZON reviews
« Reply #10 on: April 23, 2012, 08:56:08 pm »
.
This 'no! no!' stuff has been advertised a lot on telly recently: https://www.trynono.com

 :signLOL: :signLOL: - I've just seen the farts review! Brilliant!
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Offline Bane

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Re: Funny AMAZON reviews
« Reply #11 on: April 23, 2012, 10:39:16 pm »
Quote from: Upperoilcan on April 18, 2012, 10:08:42 am
Wow,this is on every forum im a member of..... :signLOL:

Advertising dept's wet dream I suppose....
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Offline Janner_Sy

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Re: Funny AMAZON reviews
« Reply #12 on: April 24, 2012, 12:02:08 pm »
Quote
From Amazon I one bought some Veet
So I applied from my head to my feet
The pain was pure hell
With a melting hair smell
But my swingers are now nice and neat!!

 :grin: :grin: :grin:
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Offline monte

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Re: Funny AMAZON reviews
« Reply #13 on: April 25, 2012, 01:54:22 am »
 :grin: :grin: :grin:


......."After getting drunk on a bottle of paco rabanne and a few shots of domestos... I decided to smear myself in Veet and lock myself in a cupboard... I fell asleep for two days before I was found by my rather distraught wife...Unfortunately the cream worked too well and removed all of my facial features including nose and lips as well as all my hair... I now look like a very strange beluga whale minus the blow hole... I am completely white and smooth!!!!!!!!!! Outstanding"
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Offline monte

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Re: Funny AMAZON reviews
« Reply #14 on: April 25, 2012, 02:05:11 am »
Last one I promise....  :ashamed:

"....Being a Double for Brad Pitt has its advantages. I have a very close resemblance (not in the way you see some people who look like someone famous who had been boiled in chip fat) to the actor which has guaranteed me some lady attention. Mother nature being the bitch she is has decided to even things up with my handsome looks doubled with a body like chewbacca. If I was the age I am now but living in the 70s, I would certainly be king of the castle and probably be making 'the sort of films' that were aplenty during that period, but this is 2012 and there is no use for us men who can double as a bear rug. To combat this gorilla look I have, I take a monthly Acid bath which makes me look human at least for 3 weeks until i sprout another grass like coat. As you can imagine, my time spent with the ladies usually only lasts a few dates so I decided to take drastic action to combat this problem. While perusing the aisles of B&Q I came across VEET FOR MEN next to the power tools.
I read the product description and decided that this was the product i had been born to use. Me-1 mother nature-0.
The ingredients in the bottle where Napalm, Dried chilli flakes, plutonium and lava. I thought "hmmmm, this sounds safe" How wrong was I!!!
I went home and lathered myself with this product paying extra attention to my genital hedge and 'choco exaust port' with disregard to the instructions. Instantly I began to glow like a zillion candle floodlight with pain akin to showering under a space rocket. I jumped in the shower to relieve the agony only to block the shower drain with a mass of fur. WARNING, water and this corrosive mixture = pain. Water running down my body felt like getting sand blasted onto your sunburn. Exiting the shower I was suprised to see that all traces of hair were destroyed. My man patch looks like E.T and my ring resembles a halo, never again will I have dangleberries. I'm sure, in the months to come when I lose the red aura and my farts don't burn there way out of my ringo I can face life again. Although, Brad Pitt no more. I'm doubling for Duncan Goodhew now!!!!"


 :laugh:
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