A widowed Jewish lady, still in good shape, was sunbathing on a most deserted beach at Ft. Myers, Florida .
She looked up and noticed that a man her age, also in good shape, had walked up, placed his blanket on the sand near hers and began reading a book.
Smiling, she attempted to strike up a conversation with him.. "How are you today?"
"Fine, thank you," he responded, and turned back to his book.
"I love the beach. Do you come here often?" she asked.
"First time since my wife passed away 2 years ago," he replied and turned back to his book.
"I sorry to hear that. My husband passed away three years ago and it is very lonely" she countered. "Do you live around here?†She asked.
"Yes, I live over in Cape Coral ," he answered, and again he resumed reading.
Trying to find a topic of common interest, she persisted," Do you like pussy cats?"
With that, the man dropped his book, came over to her blanket, tore off her swimsuit and gave her the most passionate lovemaking of her life.
When the cloud of sand began to settle, she gasped and asked the man, "How did you know that was what I wanted?"
The man replied. "How did you know my name is Katz?"
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On a beautiful summer's day, two English tourists were driving through
Wales.
At Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwyllllantysiliogogoch
they stopped for lunch, and one of the tourists asked the waitress,
"Before we order, I wonder if you could settle an argument for us. Can
you pronounce where we are, very, very, very slowly?"
The girl leaned over and said, "Burrr....gurrr....king."
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The inventor of the Harley-Davidson motorcycle, Arthur Davidson , died and
went to heaven.
At the gates, St. Peter told Arthur . 'Since you've been such a good man
and
your motorcycles
have changed the world, your reward is, you can hang out with anyone you
want to in heaven.'
Arthur thought about it for a minute and then said, ' I want to hang out
with God.'
St.. Peter took Arthur to the Throne Room, and introduced him to God.
God recognized Arthur and commented, 'Okay, so you were the one who
invented
the Harley-Davidson motorcycle? '
Arthur said, 'Yeah, that's me...'
God commented: 'Well, what's the big deal in inventing something that's
pretty unstable, makes noise and pollution and can't run without a road?'
Arthur was a bit embarrassed, but finally spoke, 'Excuse me, but aren't you
the inventor of woman?'
God said, 'Ah, yes.'
'Well,' said Arthur , professional to professional, you have some major
design flaws in your invention !
1. There's too much inconsistency in the front-end suspension
2. It chatters constantly at high speeds
3. Most rear ends are too soft and wobble about too much
4. The intake is placed way too close to the exhaust
5. The maintenance costs are outrageous!!!!
'Hmmmmm, you may have some good points there,' replied God, 'hold on.'
God went to his Celestial supercomputer, typed in a few words and waited
for
the results.
The computer printed out a slip of paper and God read it.
'Well, it may be true that my invention is flawed,' God said to Arthur ,
'but according to these numbers, more men are riding my invention than
yours'.
