New Friday Joke thread!

[monte]

A friend of mine wants to know.....

Are Chinese Whiskers racist?

[Hedge]

I see Jimmy Savilles family have removed his gravestone along with all the flowers growing round it as a sign of respect to his victims.

So it just leaves a small hole with no bush around it . Just what Jimmy would have wanted.

 

[MC71]

Jimmy Savilles last request was for his ashes to be put into an Etch-a-Sketch so that kids could continue to fiddle with his knob

A gang of dyslexic vigilantes have just beaten up Jimmy Somerville

When will these Jimmy Savile allegations ever end? Police are now saying that Jeremy Beadle may have had a small hand in it.

And my favourite.....

The BBC News channel just displayed images of the three women who claimed that Jimmy Savile interfered with them sexually. They showed a current picture of each of the women and a picture taken of each of them from the 1970s.

The caption read: Now, then. Now, then. Now, then.   

[Hedge]

A man walks into a chemist and says to the bloke behind the counter,

'Listen, I have three girls coming over tonight. I've never had three girls at once and I need something to keep me horny... keep me potent.'

The chemist reaches under the counter, unlocks the bottom drawer and takes out a small cardboard box marked with the label Viagra Extra Strength and says,


'If you take this, you'll go mental for 12 hours.'

Very happy and excited, the man says, 'Gimme three boxes.'

The next day the man walks into the same chemist's shop, right up to the same chemist and pulls down his pants. The chemist looks in horror as he notices the man's cock is swollen, black and blue, and the skin is hanging off in some places.

The man says, 'Gimme a tube of Deep Heat.'

The chemist replies, 'Deep Heat? You're not going to put Deep Heat on that are you?'

The man says, 'No, it's for my arms. The girls didn't show up.'

[Kalpsn2000]

A man walks into a chemist and says to the bloke behind the counter,

'Listen, I have three girls coming over tonight. I've never had three girls at once and I need something to keep me horny... keep me potent.'

The chemist reaches under the counter, unlocks the bottom drawer and takes out a small cardboard box marked with the label Viagra Extra Strength and says,


'If you take this, you'll go mental for 12 hours.'

Very happy and excited, the man says, 'Gimme three boxes.'

The next day the man walks into the same chemist's shop, right up to the same chemist and pulls down his pants. The chemist looks in horror as he notices the man's cock is swollen, black and blue, and the skin is hanging off in some places.

The man says, 'Gimme a tube of Deep Heat.'

The chemist replies, 'Deep Heat? You're not going to put Deep Heat on that are you?'

The man says, 'No, it's for my arms. The girls didn't show up.'

 

[monte]

My dad worked on the roadworks for twenty years before he got fired for stealing!

I couldn't believe it at first, but when i went into his garage.....all the signs were there.

[Scrubadub]

When will all these Jimmy Savile allegations end?   Now they are saying that Jeremy Beadle may have had a small hand in it too.

[Scrubadub]

More celebrity scandal, Morph outed as a playdoughphile

[steevo134]

Whit do u for a 14 yr olds itchy fanny   Put Saville on it

[rich83]

A man walks into a chemist and says to the bloke behind the counter,

'Listen, I have three girls coming over tonight. I've never had three girls at once and I need something to keep me horny... keep me potent.'

The chemist reaches under the counter, unlocks the bottom drawer and takes out a small cardboard box marked with the label Viagra Extra Strength and says,


'If you take this, you'll go mental for 12 hours.'

Very happy and excited, the man says, 'Gimme three boxes.'

The next day the man walks into the same chemist's shop, right up to the same chemist and pulls down his pants. The chemist looks in horror as he notices the man's cock is swollen, black and blue, and the skin is hanging off in some places.

The man says, 'Gimme a tube of Deep Heat.'

The chemist replies, 'Deep Heat? You're not going to put Deep Heat on that are you?'

The man says, 'No, it's for my arms. The girls didn't show up.'

 

[pitsirikas]

Perhaps in the wrong topic but I cannot stop laughing...

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[Hedge]

George Clooney is making a film about the life of Jimmy Saville. It's called... Oh She's Eleven!

[MC71]

^^^^ 

[Kalpsn2000]

Perhaps in the wrong topic but I cannot stop laughing...

[ Invalid YouTube link ]

that's brilliant!

[phil1975]

The british sense of humour



One for the kids....



My personal favourite...