Hopefully not a repost, tis an old one.....
Pierre, a brave French fighter pilot, takes his girlfriend, Marie, out for a pleasant little picnic by the River Seine. It's a beautiful day and love is in the air.
Marie leans over to Pierre and says, "Pierre, kiss me!" Our hero grabs a bottle of Merlot and splashes it on Marie's lips. "What are you doing, Pierre?" says the startled Marie. "I am Pierre, the world famous French fighter pilot! When I kiss the lips of a beautiful women, I do it with red wine!"
When things began to heat up a little, Marie says, "Pierre, kiss me lower." Our hero tears her blouse open, grabs a bottle of Champagne and pours it all over her breasts. "Pierre! What are you doing?", asks the bewildered Marie. "I am Pierre world famous French fighter pilot! When I kiss the breasts of a beautiful women, I do it with Champagne!"
They resume their passionate interlude and things really steam up. Marie leans close to his ear and whispers, "Pierre, kiss me lower!" Our hero removes Marie's knickers, grabs a bottle of Cognac and pours it in her lap, strikes a match and lights it on fire. Marie shrieks and dives into the river. Standing waist deep, Marie throws her arms upwards and screams furiously, "PIERRE, what in the hell do you think you're doing?"
Our hero stands up, defiantly, and says, "I am Pierre the famous French fighter pilot! When I go down, I go down in flames!"