As the old one seems to have gone?
When Jane initially met Tarzan in the jungle, she was
attracted to him and during her questions about his life, she asked him
How he had sex?
'Tarzan not know sex' he replied.
Jane explained to him what sex was.
Tarzan said 'Oh, Tarzan use knot hole in trunk of tree.'
Horrified Jane said, 'Tarzan you have it all wrong, but I will show you
how to do it properly.' She took off her clothing and lay down on the
ground, here she said, pointing to her privates, 'you must put it in here.'
Tarzan removed his loincloth, showing Jane his considerable manhood, stepped closer to her and kicked her hard in the crotch!
Jane rolled around in agony for what seemed like an eternity. Eventually she managed to gasp for air and screamed 'What did you do that for?'
Tarzan replied, 'check for squirrel.'
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I took my dad to the mall the other day to buy some new shoes (he is 84).
We decided to grab a bite at the food court.
I noticed he was watching a teenager sitting next to him.
The teenager had spiked hair in all different colours: green, red, orange, and blue.
My dad kept staring at him.
The teenager would look and find him staring every time.
When the teenager had enough, he sarcastically asked:
'What's the matter old man, never done anything wild in your life?'
Knowing my Dad, I quickly swallowed my food so that I would not choke on his response;
And in classic style he did not bat an eye in his response:
'Got stoned once and f*cked a peacock. I was just wondering if you were my son.'