Word on the street is that Lightroom is "better" than Aperture but no-one seems to be able to qualify exactly why. Certainly Aperture is well due for a significant update and especially if it wants to compete with Lightroom.
I'm very lucky in that I got Aperture originally free (from Apple, not an illegal copy) and so in spite of my Adobe history I haven't moved to Lightroom.
As you both already know, Photoshop integrates well and can be launched within Aperture and doubtless Lightroom as well and saves back to Aperture so it works like a big plug-in.
I only tend to use Photoshop to apply background noise reduction (Imageonic Noiseware filter) and to resize and sharpen as the very final step.
Just as it is with lenses, there's no such thing as just one perfect photo editing software.
I hope you have solved your problem, TC. Adobe Lightroom help forum?