Officer, I'd like to report an assault.
Right, Sir, when did this happen?
Just now, round the corner.
And can you describe your assailants, Sir?
Yes. There were four of them. I didn't get a good look at two of them, but one was Mickey Mouse.
Oh, really, Sir. (Puts pen down).
Yes, really. And the fourth one was Sponge Bob Square Pants.
You're nicked. For wasting police time.