I think I'm after a lot of the features of dslr without the size and cost. I'm a bit wary of going overboard and then not using a dslr because it's too much to carry everything.
....This tells me that you really prefer a compact. Only
in direct comparison will a compact not quite match up to a DSLR. You have to think what type of photography you use a camera for, and if it's not for large prints, action pics on track, or commercial work, then the current generation compacts as Rich and Hedgy recommend are excellent.
Being able to literally carry a compact camera whenever and wherever you go means you rarely miss those times you find yourself saying "I wish I'd brought my camera with me". I even have my compact with me whenever I go in my garden at home. While most of you were at Inters I spent a few days staying with friends on Exmoor
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^ Not the greatest quality technically/photographically but would I have wanted to add even a 'bridge' camera to my rucksack along with binoculars etc when climbing rocks?