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Author Topic: literally crying with laughter...  (Read 1610 times)

Offline Bane

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literally crying with laughter...
« on: May 30, 2014, 11:37:59 pm »

Offline chris-182

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Re: literally crying with laughter...
« Reply #1 on: May 31, 2014, 12:19:05 am »
brilliant! I can't believe people read the reviews., then bought some! haha

Offline Luke383

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Re: literally crying with laughter...
« Reply #2 on: June 01, 2014, 01:41:20 am »
 :booty: :sick: CLASS

Offline doylebros

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Re: literally crying with laughter...
« Reply #3 on: June 01, 2014, 10:27:30 am »
The perfect grudge tool - still laughing now! :congrats:

Offline taylor

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Re: literally crying with laughter...
« Reply #4 on: June 01, 2014, 11:54:33 am »
Hahaha some quality reviews there mind I'm sitting at work laughing to myself  :signLOL:
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Offline jhutch

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Re: literally crying with laughter...
« Reply #5 on: June 01, 2014, 06:33:56 pm »
Like the sound of trumpets calling demons back to hell, haha! Great find mate

Offline monte

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Re: literally crying with laughter...
« Reply #6 on: June 01, 2014, 11:04:28 pm »
Great reviews  :congrats:

I LOVE stuff like this  :happy2:

Amazons "Veet for Men" has to be the funniest reviews of all time. MUST SEE!!!

http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/aw/cr/B000KKNQBK/p=6/ref=aw_cr_p_drugstore_g_6_4



Also if you've never read "Emails from an Asshole"  just do it.

Link Below. So funny  :grin:

http://www.dontevenreply.com

Offline Marc-5-GTI

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Re: literally crying with laughter...
« Reply #7 on: June 02, 2014, 08:53:40 am »
I really want to buy some now!

Also, emails from an asshole... Superb!  :laugh:
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Offline MSD

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Re: literally crying with laughter...
« Reply #8 on: June 02, 2014, 10:58:06 am »
Hahaha! In tears laughing!  :signLOL:

Offline monte

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Re: literally crying with laughter...
« Reply #9 on: June 11, 2014, 11:13:54 pm »
I was showing my nephew the "Veet For Men" reviews yesterday.

There are SO many corkers. Crying with laughter indeed. :laugh:

Here's just 2 out of 804 reviews....



  Oh the shame....
By A. Chappell - 3 July 2012


After having been told my danglies looked like an elderly rastafarian I decided to take the plunge and buy some of this as previous shaving attempts had only been mildly succesful and I nearly put my back out trying to reach the more difficult bits. Being a bit of a romantic I thought I would do the deed on the missus's birthday as a bit of a treat.
I ordered it well in advance and working in the North sea I considered myself a bit above some of the characters writing the previous reviews and wrote them off as soft office typesoh my fellow sufferers how wrong I was. I waited until the other half was tucked up in bed and after giving some vague hints about a special surprise I went down to the bathroom. Initially all went well and I applied the gel and stood waiting for something to happen. I didn't have long to wait.
At first there was a gentle warmth which in a matter of seconds was replaced by an intense burning and a feeling I can only describe as like being given a barbed wire wedgie by two people intent on hitting the ceiling with my head. Religion hadn't featured much in my life until that night but I suddenly became willing to convert to any religion to stop the violent burning around the turd tunnel and what seemed like the destruction of the meat and two veg. Struggling to not bite through my bottom lip I tried to wash the gel of in the sink and only succeeded in blocking the plughole with a mat of hair. Through the haze of tears I struggled out of the bathroom across the hall into the kitchen by this time walking was not really possible and I crawled the final yard to the fridge in the hope of some form of cold relief. I yanked the freezer drawer out and found a tub of ice cream, tore the lid of and positioned it under me. The relief was fantastic but only temporary as it melted fairly quickly and the fiery stabbing soon returned .
Due to the shape of the ice cream tub I hadn't managed to give the starfish any treatment and I groped around in the drawer for something else as I was sure my vision was going to fail fairly soon.I grabbed a bag of what I later found out was frozen sprouts and tore it open trying to be quiet as I did so.I took a handful of them and tried in vain to clench some between the cheeks of my arse. This was not doing the trick as some of the gel had found it's way up the chutney channel and it felt like the space shuttle was running it's engines behind me.
This was probably and hopefully the only time in my life I was going to wish there was a gay snowman in the kitchen which should give you some idea of the depths I was willing to sink to in order to ease the pain. The only solution my pain crazed mind could come up with was to gently ease one of the sprouts where no veg had gone before.
Unfortunately, alerted by the strange grunts coming from the kitchen the other half chose that moment to come and investigate and was greeted by the sight of me, arse in the air, strawberry ice cream dripping from my bell end pushing a sprout up my arse while muttering" Ooooh that feels good ". Understandably this was a shock to her and she let out a scream and as I hadn't heard her come in it caused an involutary spasm of shock in myself which resulted in the sprout being ejected at quite some speed in her direction. I can understand that having a sprout farted against your leg at 11 at night in the kitchen probably wasn't the special surprise she was expecting and having to explain to the kids the next day what the strange hollow in the ice cream was didn't improve my status.
So to sum it up Veet removes hair, dignity and self respect:)





  Please god make it stop
By Benjboi - 30 Aug 2012


I have always been rather blessed with the hair around my beef thermometer and knackers which in my youth was a rich mahogany hue, with a hint of curl forming a garden arch around my tackle but over the years, whilst the hair on my head has remained largely unchanged my groin and happy trail has somewhat degraded. Now in my twilight years it has faded to resemble dumbledores beard, which although uncanny in its resemblence is a bit of a mood killer when I get the love wand out for the wife so on a whim I decided that the only solution was to go back as nature intended and expelliarmus my thatch.

I first bought a competitors product to perform the aforementioned task and adhereing strictly to the 6 minute rule I washed off to find not a single short and curly had been removed. I subsequently took another stab this time leaving the product on for 30 minutes and apart from my wifes hilarity at comparing me to a lifesized banana split I had no more success. Clearly I needed something more radical for my solution. It was then that a former friend pointed out the reviews on this product and suggested I give it a try. I read most of the reviews but considering my lack of success with the previous product assumed that my pubic beard was made of stronger stuff. Not dissimilar to supermans hair that suspends the half ton weight.

I rushed out to buy the product from my local chemist and paid little heed to the fact that it was in a locked cabinet with the perscription grade medicines and also ignored the pharmacists questions when supplying me the gel. With hindsight I should have listened when he warned me to take great care during application not to get this anywhere! I thought it was hyperbole I didn't think he meant it!

With the ball and chain at work I thought I would suprise her with a hairless chain and balls and set to work. The cream/gel applied easily with a rather pleasant soothing effect, I placed a towel on my leather sofa and sat down to watch bargain hunt whilst the magic cream worked. After a short while I noticed a warming sensation not unlike the effect of putting tiger balm on a sprain. this should have been my third warning as anyone who has ever put tiger balm on and then accidentally got it on any sensitive area will know the pain is unlike anything you will have ever experienced, unless you've tried veet on your taters!

The heat increased exponentially and what started out as a warming sensation became a full blown inferno on my crotch and had me sitting forwards huffing, puffing and sweating as tried to resist the tempation to wash it off and let the full 6 minutes pass. The heat, pain and smell of barbequed beef increased so quickly that I went into a panic and launched off the sofa towards my staircase however being sweaty and having laminated flooring throughout I slipped and slid across the floor like a fantasia elephant, stark bollock naked with only cream hiding my old chap right in front of my lounge window looking out onto my cul de sac, hit the wall and fell to the floor. After seriously damaging my knee in the impact I was now unable to climb the stairs and was struggling to get off the floor due to the cupious amounts of blood and sweat that was now coating the floor beneath me.

Worse was yet to come as by now the sweat on my crotch had started to spread the cream and it was slowly but certainly creeping its way between my pressed hams and it was only a matter of time before it hit my chocolatier. In a final act of desperation I dragged myself across the floor, launched crack first at the tropical fish tank and passed out!

I awoke to find my wife standing in the living room in disbelief staring at her stark bollock naked husband, melted sofa and towel, laminate which was slowly fizzing under the remains of my pubic sweat, blood and veet and about £200 worth of dead tropical fish and a busted tank. My yoghurt slinger now looks like a massive overblown red jelly bean, where my danglers used to be is a pouch of skin that looks like santas sack and the boys have disappeared so far up inside me they are featuring on crimewatch next week under missing persons! The shame of my silver brilo pad has been replaced by an inability to walk straight or stand for any period of time. I now talk with a scottish twang in my accent to explain why I am suddenly wearing kilts all of the time. My wife (now ex) has been sectioned with PTS syndrome and I now refuse to take my clothes off infront of anyone, mirrors or in fact any reflective surface in case I offend myself or anyone else with my convincing impression of kuato and hellboys lovechild.



On the plus side I am now hairless but it seems like a heavy price to pay!
164 of 183 people found this review helpful.



 :grin: